As You Provide Feedback To Your Classmates You Should Respon
As You Provide Feedback To Your Classmates You Should Respond To The
As you provide feedback to your classmates, you should respond to the following: • Is the paragraph clearly written? Does it flow well according to the given-new contract? • Are there any sentences that do not follow the given-new contract? If so, which ones? • Do you have any suggestions for revisions that would make the paragraph stronger? If so, what are they? If you think that you are now ready to move into the trailer to begin start up procedures, there are a few things you may want to check before you begin the next steps of this process.
You will need to retrace your steps on the outside of the vehicle. Validate all slide outs are locked in place, the floor is secure in the up position, the trailer is level, all power is on, and the stairs are securely fastened under the doors in the back of the slide outs on both sides. After these checks are complete, ensure the rear doors of the trailer, where the stairs are stored, are closed, doors on the generator are closed, and the extension pigtail cable is placed back into its proper place. At this point you are now ready to continue to the inside of the trailer for the interior start up procedures. These will include, the apache simulator, oculus rift, career navigators, and the M9 laser shot shooting range.
Paper For Above instruction
The provided paragraph offers a step-by-step guide for preparing a trailer for startup procedures and includes instructions on external checks before entering the vehicle. However, the paragraph could benefit from clearer organization and adherence to the given-new contract, which emphasizes logical flow and clarity in sentence structure. Analyzing the paragraph reveals areas where the sentences could be improved for better coherence and readability, particularly in transitioning between external and internal procedures.
Firstly, the paragraph begins with a question about readiness to move into the trailer, which functions as a prompt but is not directly linked to the subsequent instructions. The sentence that follows lists outward checks: locking slide outs, securing the floor, leveling the trailer, turning on power, and fastening stairs. While these are essential steps, the sentence could be clearer if each action were separated into individual sentences or bullet points to improve clarity and flow, aligning with the given-new contract—introducing familiar information, then elaborating with specific details.
Additionally, the paragraph transitions to concluding checks such as closing doors and placing the extension cable appropriately. These actions are relevant but lack explicit connection to the initial external checks, creating a slight logical disconnect. Reorganizing the paragraph to first list all external checks, then proceed to internal checks, would enhance the logical flow. Also, the phrase "at this point you are now ready" could be rephrased to tighten the sentence, avoiding redundancy.
To strengthen the paragraph, the writer could incorporate clearer topic sentences and transitional phrases that guide the reader through each step systematically. For example, starting with a statement like "Before entering the trailer to start up, several external checks are necessary," followed by enumerated or bulleted points, would improve clarity. Similarly, in describing internal procedures, a separate paragraph focusing solely on interior checks would enhance organizational coherence.
Furthermore, the paragraph mentions specific equipment such as the apache simulator, Oculus Rift, career navigators, and the M9 laser shot shooting range. Including brief descriptions of these components or their relevance to the startup process would provide additional context for readers unfamiliar with the setup.
In summary, the paragraph provides comprehensive instructions but would benefit from better organization, clearer sentence structure, and logical flow. Applying the principles of the given-new contract—introducing familiar information then providing new details—can improve readability. Breaking down complex sentences, using transition words, and ensuring each step logically follows the previous one will make the instructions more accessible and easier to follow for readers.
References
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