Discussion On When Considering Whether To Marry Someone

Discussion 1when Considering If It Is Best To Marry Someone With Simi

When considering whether it is best to marry someone with similarities or differences, arguments can be made for both perspectives. Some believe that differences between partners can reduce shared weaknesses and offer complementary strengths, enhancing the relationship. Hawkins (1991) emphasizes that acknowledging and accepting differences is essential for intimacy; without it, genuine closeness cannot develop. Conversely, many argue that having more similarities than differences simplifies compatibility and harmony in marriage.

According to Deal (2012), living with someone who shares similar personality traits and values tends to be easier. Differences tend to create conflict or tension, especially as marriages progress. Nevertheless, I contend that traits which benefit the relationship—such as shared religious beliefs or commitment levels—are strengths, regardless of whether they are similar or different. Complementary differences can foster growth; for example, one spouse may be more communicative, while the other is more patient. Balancing shared core values with complementary traits can lead to long-term marital success and harmony.

Therefore, rather than seeking a spouse identical in every way, it may be wise to consider areas where differences can serve the marriage's growth. As Romans 12:6-8 suggests, individuals possess unique gifts, and utilizing these talents in partnership can strengthen the relationship. Applying this principle involves identifying strengths and leveraging them to support each other's development and mutual goals.

Paper For Above instruction

Marital success often hinges on understanding the dynamics between similarities and differences within a relationship. While commonalities—such as shared beliefs, values, and goals—can foster harmony, differences also play a vital role in strengthening a marriage when managed with acceptance and mutual respect. The debate between compatibility through similarity versus complementarity through difference has persisted among scholars, religious teachings, and couples themselves, highlighting the nuanced nature of marital cohesion.

Research by Hawkins (1991) underscores that acceptance of differences is crucial for intimacy. He argues that recognizing that every individual is endowed with unique gifts—be they temperamental, emotional, or behavioral—must be embraced to develop a genuinely intimate relationship. Without acceptance, even the strongest similarities can become sources of complacency, whereas complementary differences, when appreciated, can foster mutual growth. For example, a spouse who is more patient can help temper a partner's impulsiveness, creating a balanced dynamic that benefits the marriage.

Deal (2012) adds that living with individuals who share similar personality traits simplifies daily logistics and reduces conflict. However, he also acknowledges that opposites attract initially but may clash later. Despite this, compatibility is not solely dependent on shared traits; it is more about how couples navigate their differences. Communication and acceptance are vital. According to Hawkins (1991), couples who actively accept their differences and work through conflicts are more resilient and capable of building deeper intimacy.

Practical application of these principles involves couples engaging in honest dialogues concerning their needs, expectations, and individual traits. Premarital counseling, as suggested by Prepare/Enrich (n.d.), can be instrumental in helping couples identify areas of similarity and difference, and develop strategies for acceptance, adaptation, and affirmation. Such preparation fosters understanding and prepares couples to handle inevitable conflicts constructively.

In religious contexts, biblical teachings also support this perspective. Romans 12:6-8 emphasizes utilizing individual gifts in service of others, which can be interpreted as encouraging couples to recognize and leverage their diverse strengths for the benefit of the relationship. A marriage rooted in mutual acceptance of differences, complemented by shared core values, lays a foundation for enduring love and harmony.

In conclusion, the dynamics of similarities and differences in marriage are complex but manageable through effective communication, acceptance, and appreciation. While shared traits may promote ease and predictability, recognizing and embracing differences can enrich the relationship, fostering growth and resilience. The key lies in developing the skills to accept and work with these differences, transforming potential weaknesses into strengths that bolster the partnership over time.

References

• Deal, R. L. (2012). Dating and the single parent. Bethany House Publishing.
• Hawkins, R. E. (1991). Strengthening marital intimacy: Elements in the process. Baker Publishing Group.
• Liberty University. (2017). Prepare/Enrich (Current ed.). Life Innovations Inc.
• Carroll, J. (2004). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
• Gottman, J. M. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown Publishing Group.
• Markman, H. J., & Rhoades, G. (2017). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. New York: Harmony.
• Schwartz, B. (2004). The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less. Harper Perennial.
• Fowers, B. J., & Olson, D. H. (1993). Family Assessment: An Approach to Strength-Based Family Counseling. Family Process, 32(3), 345-364.
• Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (1992). Breaking the Cycle: How to Turn Conflict into Intimacy. Guilford Press.
• Wachtel, P. L. (2008). The Power of Acceptance. The Family Journal, 16(3), 271-276.