Grief And Loss In Adolescence

Grief And Loss In Adolescence

Adolescents seem to have a difficult time coping with grief and bereavement, and this paper discusses how adolescent development impacts bereavement. The difference between grief and bereavement is that grief is when a child feels the pain and has intense emotion on the loss of their loved one, and in contrast, bereavement means the condition of having had a significant other die. There are three phases in adolescent development: early adolescence, middle adolescence, and later adolescence. Some young adolescents experience the loss of their loved ones at a young age; some of them could have one or both parents alive.

The process of grief and loss is very complicated for young adolescents because their thoughts and reactions vary and are different than when they reach adulthood. Adolescent development, like emotions, tasks, feelings, and opinions, affects the bereavement process in many different ways. In early adolescence, children usually tend to face the task of separating emotionally from and managing the conflict of leaving “the security and predictability of the family” and their parents. Adolescents usually get a fear of being abandoned. When they feel bereaved, the cognitive responses question how and why the death occurred, idealize the person who died, and look for understanding and acceptance.

Sometimes, the adolescent may think he/she should have died instead of their loved one. Normally, they have a sense of being different from others who have lost someone and grieving (Balk, 2011). In middle adolescence, they increasingly face individual control, desire for achieving personal autonomy, and self-efficacy. Middle adolescents try to achieve independence. They tend to have different cognitive responses from early adolescents; middle adolescents learn helplessness versus unrealistic expectations.

Existence seems arbitrary, and they feel more mature and vulnerable. Bereaved middle adolescents view the world as dangerous, which makes them feel vulnerable (Balk, 2011). During later adolescence, they get the feeling of losing their independence from their achievement when they become stressed out by the demands of close relationships. Unlike how early adolescents and middle adolescents think, later adolescents have different cognitive responses. They think existence is absurd, risk intimacy in the face of losing someone special, and believe themselves to be trustworthy.

Adolescents realize how unpredictable and unsafe the world is, so they notice the salience of being able to rely on others. Finding others who are dealing with similar issues gives renewed hope (Balk, 2011). Not only do cognitive responses differ when bereaved, but also different phases in adolescence can vary in behavioral responses. During early adolescence, they minimize the importance of death, compare the differences between self-destruction versus self-protection, and seek peers if necessary. The situation of experiencing the death of someone overwhelms them; they feel incapable of handling it on their own because their emotions are deflated.

The unfairness of death can lead adolescents to protest the indifference of the universe. In middle adolescence, they decide if the situation should be handled dependently or on their own; they want to ensure others don’t die as well, and feel the possibility of losing spontaneity versus engaging in risky behavior. In later adolescence, they aim to withdraw into themselves to avoid risks or to reach out to assist others; they act on behalf of the larger community and demonstrate loyalty and fidelity versus over-dependence. Adolescence mainly focuses on the overall developmental task of commitment and achieving interpersonal intimacy. As Balk (2011) states, “Adolescents should be learning how to understand and deal with bereavement as time goes by in a positive way.” Varied responses to grief across different adolescent phases are influenced by their developmental tasks, conflicts, and social context.

Research indicates that most adolescents who experience the death of someone significant feel traumatized, making grief difficult. Developmental differences in understanding death, progression of skills, brain development, and associated factors influence treatment approaches across age groups. Many young adolescents exhibit both prolonged and normal grief reactions. In normal grief, mourning involves processing the permanence of separation and its implications, though confirming the finality of loss may be challenging. To cope, adolescents may avoid reminders of the loved one temporarily, which can serve as a protective, albeit temporary, escape from sorrow (Davies, 2001).

Confronted with loss, adolescents may try to suppress painful memories or avoid emotion altogether, which, if prolonged, may lead to negative beliefs and depressive avoidance—a pathway to trauma (Mannarino & Cohen, 2011). Traumatized adolescents often feel devastated, especially if death was traumatic. Grief can be classified as normal or prolonged; in the latter, adolescents have difficulty accepting the loss, trusting others, or returning to normal life, feeling life is empty and meaningless (Mannarino & Cohen, 2011). Prolonged grief reactions may emerge when the loss is deeply personal or traumatic, affecting mental health significantly.

While resilience is common after trauma, some adolescents develop mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, behavioral problems, or physical health difficulties. In the U.S., approximately 400,000 adolescents under twenty-five experience the loss of close loved ones each year; about 1.9 million under eighteen have lost one or both parents (Children’s Bereavement Center of South Texas, 2008). Adolescents may experience sudden, intense waves of pain and feelings of guilt or self-blame, especially if they survive while others do not.

Secondary adversities such as loss of health insurance, housing, or income often follow a death, complicating coping further. The ability to handle grief is influenced by age-related emotional and cognitive development (Vigil & Clements, 2003). Due to the traumatic nature of death, young adolescents must confront the concept of mortality and their own vulnerability, often trying to understand what it means to be mortal (Nader & Salloum, 2011). Such confrontation alters their perception of safety and trust in relationships.

Feelings of embarrassment, shame, or social withdrawal often accompany grief, making reintegration into social spaces stressful. Adolescents face the challenge of living life ‘without’ their loved one and often grapple with complex questions about death, life, and spirituality, including notions of reincarnation or afterlife (Nader & Salloum, 2011). Their reaction to trauma and death is closely linked to their emotional maturity; they may report intense emotions when describing stressful situations.

Support for grieving adolescents is often limited, with many grieving alone or receiving minimal intervention. Effective communication about death, tailored to the adolescent's developmental stage and relationship with the deceased, is essential. Expressive arts therapies are particularly beneficial—music, visual arts, and literature allow adolescents to express inaccessible feelings and find healing (Slyter, 2012). Using music, adolescents relate to lyrics that resonate with their experience, reducing feelings of loneliness and aiding emotional processing. Visual arts serve as symbolic outlets, enabling adolescents to draw or symbolize their feelings and relate them to their experiences, which can be less threatening than verbal expression.

Literature, especially when selected appropriately, offers adolescents a mirror for their feelings, fostering understanding and empathy. Reading about others’ experiences helps them articulate their own grief, see that they are not alone, and develop emotional resilience. As Slyter (2012) underscores, literature can serve as a therapeutic tool, facilitating catharsis and meaningful reflection. These creative interventions are most effective when integrated into a supportive environment that encourages open expression and normalizes grief reactions in adolescents.

Overall, understanding grief and loss within the context of adolescent development is critical for effective support and intervention. As adolescents navigate complex emotional, cognitive, and social changes, their reactions to loss are uniquely intensified and prolonged compared to adults. Interventions that utilize expressive arts and therapeutic storytelling provide adolescents a crucial outlet for emotional expression and help promote resilience through understanding and connection with others facing similar grief experiences.

References

• Balk, D. (2011). Adolescent development and bereavement: an introduction. The Prevention Researcher, 18(3), 3+.
• Davies, A. (2001). Children's nursing. British Journal of Nursing, 10(20), 1332.
• Mannarino, A. P., & Cohen, J. A. (2011). Traumatic Loss in Children and Adolescents. Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma, 4(1), 22-33. https://doi.org/10.1080/ ... .545048
• Nader, K., & Salloum, A. (2011). Complicated Grief Reactions in Children and Adolescents. Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma, 4(3).
• Slyter, M. (2012). Creative Counseling Interventions for Grieving Adolescents. Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 7(1), 17-34. https://doi.org/10.1080/ ...
• Vigil, G., & Clements, P. (2003). Child and adolescent homicide survivors: complicated grief and altered worldviews. Journal of Psychosocial Nursing & Mental Health Services, 41(1), 30-41.