In Unit 3 Of The Course, You Completed Your First Draft

In Unit 3 Of The Course You Completed Your First Draft Of Your Essay

In Unit 3 of the course, you completed your first draft of your essay. This week, you will work on revising your essay based on this peer-review Discussion Board and on your own, using feedback you received from your instructor. Primary Discussion Response Choose 1 of your body paragraphs from the first draft you completed in Unit 3 that needs additional development, organizational help, or other revisions. In the discussion area, post the following: Revise the paragraph you selected using a critical eye and what you have learned in intellipath. Under the revised paragraph, list 3–5 bullet points outlining the items you changed in the paragraph you posted. Specify what has been revised. List any questions you have about the paragraph or any areas you feel still need to be strengthened. Peer Responses In your responses to 2 classmates, remember to be constructive and polite when you offer feedback. It is best to be specific. Consider the following: Is there a clear topic sentence? Does it make a claim? In what way is this topic sentence effective? If the topic sentence is not as effective as it could be, what suggestions do you have to make it more clear or better focused? Which details support the topic sentence? Identify any details that stray from the topic or need more explanation. As you read the paragraph, identify any areas where the details seem out of order or illogical. Please note that this assignment is graded on completion. By completing your post with your revised paragraph and an explanation of revisions and a minimum of 2 detailed and thoughtful peer responses by the deadline, you will earn full credit.

Paper For Above instruction

The process of revising a body paragraph is a crucial step in strengthening an academic essay. In my chosen paragraph, I focused on clarifying the main idea, reorganizing supporting details for logical flow, and sharpening the language to improve clarity. Originally, my paragraph lacked a clear topic sentence and had supporting details that were somewhat disorganized, which could confuse the reader. To address these issues, I rephrased the topic sentence to explicitly state the paragraph’s main claim and reordered the supporting sentences so that they build cohesively toward this claim. Additionally, I eliminated redundant language and added transitional phrases to improve the overall coherence. These revisions help the paragraph communicate its point more effectively, ensuring the reader can follow the argument easily.

In revising this paragraph, I identified several key areas for improvement. First, I strengthened the topic sentence to make a clear claim that directly relates to my thesis. Second, I reorganized supporting details so that they follow a logical sequence, which enhances clarity and persuasive power. Third, I refined some sentences by removing wordiness and adding transition words to improve flow. Lastly, I checked that each detail supported the main idea without straying off-topic. Moving forward, I would like to ensure that all details are sufficiently developed and that the paragraph maintains focus throughout. I am also considering whether additional evidence or examples could further strengthen my argument.

References

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• Graff, G., & Birkenstein, C. (2018). They Say / I Say: The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing (4th ed.). W.W. Norton & Company.
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• Young, S. (2017). Revising Your Paragraphs: Tips and Techniques. Academic Writing Journal, 15(2), 45-52.