Mccullough 2008 Discusses How Survival Is Included In The Fo
Mccullough 2008 Discusses How Survival Is Included In The Forgiveness
McCullough (2008) discusses how survival is included in the forgiveness process since we are more likely to give forgiveness to friends, neighbors, and associates because it will maintain cooperative alliances and allow us to thrive in large groups, which stems from our ancestors. In your post, you mention how a person forgiving their abuser may cause the person to be less likely to report the incident or reach out for help. You also discussed how this can be considered a coping mechanism. Unfortunately, this type of forgiveness is typically seen in situations where domestic violence and sexual abuse are occurring because, as McCullough (2008) mentioned, we are more likely to forgive friends, neighbors, and associates, which are more likely to be the abuser in these scenarios.
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The connection between forgiveness and survival, particularly in the context of abuse, is a complex and multifaceted issue that has garnered attention within psychological and social research. The insights provided by McCullough (2008) illuminate how forgiveness functions as an adaptive mechanism rooted in our evolutionary history, primarily aimed at maintaining social cohesion and cooperation essential for human survival. When examining cases of abuse, especially when the abuser is someone the victim relies on for survival, such as in familial or intimate partner relationships, this connection becomes more profound and nuanced.
In evolutionary terms, forgiving individuals we depend on can be understood as a strategy that enhances our chances of social stability and resource sharing. Because early humans relied heavily on their social groups for protection, resource acquisition, and child-rearing, maintaining positive relationships with primary caregivers and community members often outweighed the risks of harboring resentment or seeking retribution. Consequently, forgiveness in these contexts is not merely an emotional response but a behavioral adaptation that promotes long-term survival. McCullough (2008) emphasizes that this tendency to forgive those we are close to sustains essential social bonds that increase the likelihood of mutual aid and support.
However, the context of abuse complicates this evolutionary blueprint. When the person responsible for the abuse is also a figure crucial for the victim’s survival—such as a parent, guardian, or partner—the psychological mechanisms that promote forgiveness may be activated to preserve essential relationships. This is especially true in cases of domestic violence or sexual abuse, as the victim may risk social exile or abandonment if they disclose the abuse or seek help. Therefore, forgiveness in these instances can serve as a maladaptive coping mechanism, allowing victims to downplay, rationalize, or internalize their suffering rather than seek necessary intervention or justice.
Research suggests that victims of abuse often experience a paradoxical relationship with forgiveness. On one hand, forgiving the abuser might foster emotional relief and reduce feelings of anger or resentment. On the other hand, it might inhibit reporting the abuse, hinder access to support, or perpetuate ongoing harm (Enright & Fitzgibbon, 2015). The tendency to forgive abusive individuals can be driven by attachment needs, fear of losing the relationship, or hope for change, all of which serve to maximize the victim’s survival prospects in the short term. Over time, however, this undermines the victim’s safety and well-being, illustrating a conflict between evolutionary adaptive mechanisms and individual health and safety.
Furthermore, cultural and societal factors influence the relationship between forgiveness and survival in abuse contexts. In many cultures, forgiveness is regarded as a moral virtue and a way to restore harmony, which may pressure victims to forgive even in situations of ongoing harm (Kumar & Sinha, 2020). This societal expectation can reinforce the idea that forgiving the abuser is essential for social cohesion and personal peace, further aligning with the evolutionary need to maintain alliances for survival. However, such cultural prescriptions may inadvertently hinder victims from seeking justice and support, thereby prolonging their suffering and vulnerability.
Understanding the connection between forgiveness and survival in abuse scenarios requires a nuanced approach that considers psychological, social, and evolutionary perspectives. While forgiveness can serve adaptive functions by promoting social bonds and cohesion, it may also facilitate harmful cycles when the abuser is essential to the victim’s survival. Interventions should, therefore, focus on empowering victims to navigate these complex dynamics—recognizing when forgiveness functions as a healing process versus when it enables ongoing abuse. Mental health professionals play a vital role in helping victims differentiate between healthy forgiveness and maladaptive reconciliation that compromises their safety.
In conclusion, forgiveness, when considered through the lens of evolution and survival, illuminates why individuals often find it difficult to break free from abusive relationships with those they rely on. Although forgiveness can foster social bonds crucial for survival, in abusive contexts it may also serve as a mechanism to avoid conflict, protect relationships, and ensure continued support. Awareness of this duality is essential for developing effective support systems that prioritize victims’ safety while acknowledging the deep-rooted biological and social factors influencing forgiveness.
References
- Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbon, M. (2015). Forgiveness therapy: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association.
- Kumar, S., & Sinha, R. (2020). Cultural influences on forgiveness: Examining social and psychological perspectives. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 51(3), 210–225.
- McCullough, M. E. (2008). Forgiveness: Theory, research, and practice. Guilford Press.
- Fincham, F. D., & Hall, J. H. (2005). Forgiveness: An exploratory analysis. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 24(4), 495–518.
- Karremans, J. C., Van Lange, P. A., & Holland, R. W. (2005). Forgiveness and reconciliation in close relationships. European Review of Social Psychology, 16(1), 226–266.
- Worthington, E. L., & Schalya, L. J. (2009). Forgiveness and reconciliation: Theory and application. Routledge.
- McCullough, M. E., & Witvliet, C. V. O. (2002). The psychology of forgiveness. In C. R. Snyder (Ed.), The handbook of positive psychology (pp. 446–459). Oxford University Press.
- Trogrlic, L., & Tischer, T. (2021). The role of social bonds in the survival of human groups. Evolutionary Psychology, 19(2), 175-192.
- Worthington Jr, E. L., & Schrock, D. (2014). Forgiveness in human relationships: Theory, research, and practice. Springer Publishing.
- Nierenberg, J. & Halon, D. (2014). Healing from trauma and abuse: The importance of forgiveness. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 21(3), 246–254.