Use The Theories Of Lamers And Kubler-Ross To Help You

Use the theories of Lamers and Kubler-Ross to help you and the families better understand and deal with their circumstances

Imagine that you are a hospice volunteer and are helping late adult, terminally ill patients and their families. Use the theories of Lamers and Kubler-Ross to help you and the families better understand and deal with their circumstances. Berger (2013) describes the importance of the individual and cultural aspects of the grieving process. Although psychological stages of grief identified by Kübler-Ross are helpful and can be used to create dialogue, it has been my experience working with patients and families that the experience runs deeper than words. Our ability to process grief begins very early in life, as evidenced by the first fairy tales read to us (Lamers, 1995).

As a part of the medical team, I was responsible for developing a comprehensive body-mind-spirit plan. Financial aspects, such as insurance, medical directives, DNR orders, palliative care, and living wills, played a small but significant role. Ensuring that clergy and family members were notified according to the patient's wishes was essential. Creating a safe and empowering environment allowed patients to transition with dignity. While some of this falls outside the typical scope of a hospice volunteer, volunteers can still provide meaningful support by reading to patients and families.

In my practice, I often used two books to facilitate understanding and comfort. The first, "There’s No Such Place As Far Away" (Bach, 1990), was read aloud to families, often with a focus on children, but with all present, it fostered powerful emotional responses. This approach aligns with Lamers's (1995) work, which emphasizes that grief is rooted deeply in our early developmental experiences and stories we are told as children. The second book held a quote that resonated deeply with the grieving process: "Q: Being alive is nice? A: Yes! And while I am alive, I should live, not slowly die" (Kübler-Ross, 1987, p. 167). Such messages reinforce the importance of living fully, even in the face of terminal illness, and can help individuals and families find meaning during difficult times.

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Theories of grief and dying, notably those by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and E. P. Lamers, provide essential frameworks for hospice volunteers supporting terminally ill patients and their families. These models facilitate a deeper understanding of the emotional and psychological processes accompanying death, thus enabling caregivers to offer more compassionate and informed support. Recognizing the stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—can help families comprehend their reactions and normalize their feelings, which is vital for psychological well-being during the dying process (Kübler-Ross, 1987; Bolden, 2007).

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's seminal work on the five stages of grief remains one of the most influential models in understanding death and dying. It posits that individuals working through terminal illness or bereavement often pass through distinct emotional stages, although not necessarily in a fixed order. Some may skip stages, revisit earlier stages, or experience multiple stages simultaneously (Kübler-Ross, 1987). This framework helps families understand their own responses and the responses of loved ones, promoting patience and empathy. It also underscores the importance of personalized care, as each person’s grief process is unique.

Similarly, E. P. Lamers's stages of grief emphasize the importance of mourning as integral to healing. Lamers suggests that grief involves a series of emotional responses that, while challenging, are necessary for resolution. The recognition that grief is a vital part of the dying and healing processes encourages hospice volunteers to assist patients and families in expressing and processing their emotions openly (Lamers, 1995). Supporting loved ones in acknowledging their grief fosters a healthier adjustment and acceptance of death as part of the human experience.

In addition to psychological stages, cultural and individual factors significantly influence how grief manifests and should be acknowledged. Berger (2013) emphasizes the importance of cultural sensitivity and individual differences in grief work. For instance, some cultures may emphasize collective mourning, while others prioritize personal emotional expression. An understanding of these cultural nuances helps hospice volunteers provide appropriate support that respects the beliefs and values of the patient and family, thereby reinforcing dignity and respect in end-of-life care.

Understanding the developmental perspective is also crucial. As individuals reach late adulthood, their attitudes toward death often shift. Many older adults become more accepting of mortality, especially if they have had conversations about their wishes and have prepared for their passing. Kubler-Ross’s stages may be more evident in older adults who have come to terms with their mortality, and this readiness can help families anticipate the emotional states they might encounter (Berger, 2014). Moreover, this acceptance can facilitate a peaceful transition and help family members process grief when death occurs.

For the families, awareness of the emotional stages can facilitate compassionate communication. Recognizing that grief does not follow a linear pattern can reassure them that fluctuations in emotions are normal. Support from hospice volunteers, aligned with the understanding of grief models, can include listening empathetically, providing educational materials, and encouraging open discussions about feelings and fears (Coberly & Shapiro, 1998). Such approaches help normalize the grieving process while fostering resilience and acceptance.

Practical interventions inspired by these theories include storytelling, as used with the book "There’s No Such Place As Far Away." Storytelling allows family members and patients to articulate feelings indirectly, creating emotional release and shared understanding. Reading age-appropriate stories or revisiting familiar tales can evoke memories, reinforce connections, and provide comfort. This aligns with Lamers's emphasis on early childhood narratives shaping our responses to losses throughout life (Lamers, 1995).

Furthermore, volunteers should recognize that grief is deeply personal and influenced by cultural, spiritual, and developmental factors. Encouraging families to express their feelings openly, respecting their unique grieving style, helps facilitate healthy mourning. Spiritual support and facilitating conversations about legacy and meaningful memories can also aid in acceptance and peace. This holistic approach recognizes that grief work is complex and deeply personal, requiring sensitivity, patience, and cultural competence.

In conclusion, employing the grief models of Kübler-Ross and Lamers in hospice settings deeply enhances the support provided to terminally ill patients and their families. These frameworks aid in understanding the emotional journey, fostering patience, and promoting healing. Tailoring interventions to individual and cultural needs, and integrating storytelling and education, can create a compassionate environment that respects dignity and facilitates peaceful transitions. Recognizing the diversity of grief responses empowers caregivers to provide empathetic and effective support, ultimately helping families find meaning and acceptance during one of life's most profound experiences.

References

• Bach, R. (1990). There's No Such Place As Far Away. New York: Delacorte Press.
• Berger, K. S. (2013). Invitation to the Life Span (2nd ed.). New York: Worth Publishers.
• Coberly, M., & Shapiro, S. I. (1998). Letting go: expanding the transpersonal in hospice care and education. The International Journal of Transpersonal Studies, 17(1), 35-55.
• Kübler-Ross, E. (1987). AIDS The Ultimate Challenge. New York: Macmillan Publishing Company.
• Lamers, E. P. (1995). Children, death and fairy tales. Omega: Journal of Death and Dying, 31(2), 141-152.
• Berger, K. S. (2014). Invitation to the lifespan (2nd ed.). New York: Worth Publishers.
• Bolden, L. A. (2007). A Review of On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. Counseling & Values, 51(3), 162-169.
• Parkes, C. M., Attig, T., Bendiksen, R., Cabrera, F., Corr, C., Cox, G., & Wrenn, M. (2011). Can individuals who are specialists in death, dying, and bereavement contribute to the prevention and/or mitigation of armed conflicts and cycles of violence? Death Studies, 35(5), 403-413.
• Shapiro, S., & Shapiro, M. (2003). The Art of Supporting Dying Patients and Their Families. Journal of Hospice & Palliative Nursing, 5(2), 90-94.
• Winnicott, D. W. (1971). Playing and Reality. Routledge.