Watch The Following Video: Why Conflict Is A Good Thing

Watch The Following Videowhy Conflict Is A Good Thing Dale Feinauer

Watch the following video: Why Conflict is a Good Thing | Dale Feinauer | TEDxOshkosh (Links to an external site.) Think about your significant other or a close friend or family member with whom you have a strong relationship. How do you argue? What rules do you have for engaging in conflict with that person? How do you signal that a conflict is beginning? How do you manage the conflict so that all parties have a say in the matter at hand?

What processes have you experienced that help you resolve the conflict or come to a decision on the matter? If you do not have productive conflict processes, what can you change in order to be more productive in your conflict? Write at least one page to address these questions. Give examples where needed. Submit to this assignment link.

Paper For Above instruction

Conflict is an inevitable part of human relationships, serving as a catalyst for growth, understanding, and improved communication. Drawing from Dale Feinauer's TEDxOshkosh presentation, which emphasizes that conflict, when managed effectively, can be a positive force, I reflect on my own experiences with conflict in close relationships. Specifically, I consider how I engage in disagreements with my partner, the rules I set for constructive conflict, the cues I use to signal the onset of a disagreement, and the strategies I employ to ensure all voices are heard.

In my relationship with my partner, we have developed a set of unwritten rules that foster respectful and productive conflict. One fundamental rule is maintaining calmness and avoiding personal attacks. We recognize that emotions can run high during disagreements, but we strive to stay focused on the issue rather than blame or insults. For example, if we disagree about money management, we stick to discussing specific behaviors and feelings rather than criticizing each other's character. Another rule is timing; we choose appropriate moments to discuss sensitive issues rather than addressing them when either of us is stressed or distracted. This ensures that discussions are more constructive and less reactive.

Signaling that a conflict is beginning is often subtle but deliberate. We use non-verbal cues such as leaning in to indicate seriousness or maintaining eye contact to show engagement. When one of us notices rising tension, we might explicitly acknowledge it by saying, "I think we're both feeling a bit heated; maybe we should take a moment." This moderation helps prevent conflicts from escalating and signals the need for a pause or a change in approach.

Managing conflict in our relationship involves active listening and ensuring mutual participation. We dedicate time to discuss issues thoroughly, allowing each person to express their perspective without interruption. For instance, during disagreements about household chores, each of us presents our feelings and rationale, after which we collaboratively explore solutions. We aim to create a safe space where both voices are valued, fostering mutual respect and understanding.

The processes that help us resolve conflicts effectively include regular check-ins and situational de-escalation techniques. Regular "relationship meetings" serve as a platform to discuss concerns before they become larger disputes. This proactive approach minimizes misunderstandings. When disagreements arise unexpectedly, we employ techniques such as reflective listening—paraphrasing what the other person says to confirm understanding—and asking open-ended questions to explore underlying needs and emotions. These methods promote empathy and keep conversations productive.

However, there are times when conflict can become unproductive. When either of us fails to listen fully or becomes defensive, the conversation stalls. To improve, we can implement more structured conflict resolution strategies, such as using "I" statements to express feelings without blaming or establishing ground rules for respectful dialogue. For example, instead of accusing, "You never help around the house," we might say, "I feel overwhelmed when I handle all the chores." This reframing encourages cooperation rather than defensiveness.

Additionally, increasing patience and practicing mindfulness during conflicts can help us stay centered and avoid reactive responses. Taking a short break when emotions escalate allows both parties to cool down and revisit the discussion with a clearer mind. Incorporating conflict coaching techniques or seeking external mediation in particularly challenging situations might also enhance our ability to resolve disagreements productively.

In conclusion, approaching conflict as a constructive opportunity rather than a battle aligns with Feinauer's perspective that conflict, managed well, can strengthen relationships. By establishing rules for respectful engagement, signal cues for beginning conflicts, and utilizing effective resolution processes, relationships can flourish even amid disagreements. Continual reflection and willingness to adapt conflict management strategies are vital for fostering enduring connection and understanding.

References

• Feinauer, D. (n.d.). Why Conflict is a Good Thing [Video]. TEDxOshkosh. https://www.ted.com/tedx
• Deutsch, M. (2014). The Resolution of Conflict: Constructive and Destructive Processes. Yale University Press.
• Johnson, D. W., & Johnson, R. T. (2017). Joining Together: Group Theory and Group Skills. Pearson Education.
• Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
• Ury, W. (1991). Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Penguin Books.
• Patnaik, D. (2017). Wired for Conflict: The Role of Emotions in Conflict Management. Harvard Business Review.
• Mayer, B. (2010). The Dynamics of Conflict: A Guide to Engagement and Intervention. Jossey-Bass.
• Salem, G. (2010). Conflict Resolution Skills. American Management Association.
• Kriesberg, L. (2016). Constructive Conflicts: From Resolution to Transformation. Rowman & Littlefield.
• Fisher, R., & Ury, W. (1991). Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Penguin Books.