Writing Class In An Intensive College Prep Program

Writing Class In An Intensive College Preparatory Program The Prompt

writing class in an intensive college preparatory program. The prompt was to write about something memorable. As you read these stories, try to be aware of your own reactions to the text. What features of the writing do you find annoying, clear, convincing? Would you say that either composition is better than the other, in your view, of what constitutes effective writing?

Composition 1 was written by a native speaker of Japanese. Composition 2 was written by someone who was raised in Japan but was not ethnically Japanese. The two authors were students in the same ESL class in California.

Composition 1 describes a personal experience involving difficulty with language and cultural differences. The writer recounts a situation in which they attempted to communicate in English while visiting a foreign country, struggling with misunderstandings and expressing feelings of fear and sadness. The narrative includes details about the writer’s perception of the driver’s actions, their emotional response, and the eventual loss of personal belongings, culminating in a poignant conclusion about their inability to share this experience with Japanese friends due to cultural reasons.

Composition 2 narrates a travel experience to Korea. It describes a rainy night, a confusing taxi ride, and a mechanical problem with the vehicle. The writer expresses fear about being lost or in danger, narrating their interaction with the driver and their decision to help push the car when it stalls. The story captures a moment of distress, personal resilience, and the emotional impact of the situation, ending with a reflection on the experience and feelings of sadness and loss.

Paper For Above instruction

The two compositions offer compelling insights into personal experiences of distress and cultural challenges in unfamiliar environments, yet they differ significantly in their structure, clarity, and effectiveness in conveying their narratives. Analyzing these differences reveals important considerations about effective writing, especially in an ESL context where language proficiency, cultural background, and narrative coherence influence the reader's understanding and emotional engagement.

Composition 1, authored by a native Japanese speaker, is characterized by disjointed language, grammatical errors, and a lack of clear sequencing. The narrative seems to be a raw, emotional recount of a distressing event during a visit abroad. While the writer's feelings of fear, confusion, and sadness are palpable, the overall effectiveness is compromised by awkward syntax and inconsistent coherence. For example, phrases like "Beeuese there ~re ~o many people" and "He~s s~rry but I needy~~r he\p" showcase grammatical issues that hinder clarity and distract the reader from the story's emotional core. Despite these shortcomings, the authenticity of the writer's voice offers valuable insight into their internal experience, emphasizing the importance of emotional truth in storytelling.

In contrast, Composition 2 appears to be more organized, with a clearer chronological sequence and a more coherent narrative structure. The writer recounts a specific event in Korea, describing weather conditions, the taxi ride, and mechanical failure with relative clarity. The language, although informal and somewhat simplistic, allows the reader to follow the story easily. It captures the writer's feelings of fear and helplessness effectively, but at times, the narrative is somewhat superficial or lacks depth. For instance, the phrase "made me feel some' Fear" could benefit from more detailed emotional reflection to enhance engagement. Nevertheless, the composition demonstrates better grammatical control and narrative coherence, making it more accessible and convincing as a recount of a personal experience.

When considering which composition is "better," subjective judgments depend on the criteria used. If effectiveness is defined by emotional sincerity and authentic voice, Composition 1 might be more impactful despite its linguistic errors. However, if clarity, structure, and coherence are prioritized, Composition 2 clearly outperforms the first. Effective writing balances these elements, especially for ESL writers striving to communicate clearly while preserving authenticity. Both compositions highlight the importance of revising for grammatical accuracy and clarity to enhance the reader's understanding and emotional connection.

From an instructional perspective, these examples underscore the necessity of guiding ESL students to improve their grammatical control, organizational skills, and emotional expression. Focused feedback and targeted practice can elevate these compositions, ensuring that the writers' intentions are effectively communicated. It is also vital to recognize the value of authentic voice in storytelling, where emotional truth often outweighs linguistic perfection. Ultimately, effective writing in ESL contexts harmonizes clarity, coherence, grammatical accuracy, and emotional authenticity, enabling writers to share their experiences meaningfully.

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