Correct My Paper: Here Are My Professor's Comments I See Som

Correct My Paperhere Are My Professors Comments I See Some Good Id

Correct my paper. Here are my professor's comments: "I see some good ideas in this essay about racism and also about memory and symbolism. I think if you conference with me and then restructure this essay, you can achieve a higher grade. Basically, this essay does not have an essay structure. Ideas are appearing in unpredictable places and a majority of the details and examples in the body paragraphs do not relate to what you have stated or argued in the thesis. This means that you are not certain of the organizational pattern for a college-essay. Once the structure is more pronounced, we can work on some other skills such as mechanics and phrasing."

Paper For Above instruction

The essay in question explores significantly relevant themes such as racism, memory, and symbolism, which are vital in understanding societal issues and individual experiences. Despite the strength of initial ideas, the essay suffers from structural issues that hinder its clarity and effectiveness. A well-organized essay follows a clear thesis, logical progression of ideas, and coherent paragraphs, which are missing or underdeveloped in this work.

One of the fundamental issues identified by the professor is the absence of a defined organizational pattern. Without a clear structure, ideas tend to appear in unpredictable places, making it difficult for readers to follow the argument. To address this, the essay needs a carefully crafted outline before rewriting. This outline should determine the main argument or thesis statement and ensure that each paragraph serves to support this central claim.

Regarding content, the essay contains valuable ideas about racism, memory, and symbolism. To improve, these ideas should be clustered into distinct sections, each with a dedicated paragraph or set of paragraphs that relate directly to the main thesis. For instance, one paragraph could focus specifically on how racism influences societal memory, supported by relevant examples. Another could analyze the symbolic aspects of memory in different cultural contexts. These connections need to be explicitly articulated, demonstrating how they support the overarching argument.

Furthermore, strong transitions between paragraphs are essential for maintaining coherence. Transitions act as bridges guiding the reader through the essay's argument. Therefore, sentence connectors and transitional phrases should be employed to clarify relationships between ideas. For example, phrases like "In contrast," "Building upon this idea," or "Therefore," can signal shifts or continuations of ideas.

The revision process should begin with a thesis restatement that clearly states the main argument. Once the thesis is established, develop topic sentences that preview the content of each paragraph and relate directly to the thesis. Each paragraph should contain evidence—quotes, examples, or analytical points—that support its topic sentence. This structure ensures the essay is focused and the ideas are connected logically.

Beyond structure, attention to mechanics and phrasing will enhance clarity and professionalism in the writing. This includes varying sentence structures, avoiding redundancies, and ensuring grammatical precision. Also, adopting academic tone and formal language will improve the overall quality of the essay.

In sum, the primary focus should be on developing a clear organizational pattern—introduction, body paragraphs aligned with the thesis, and a concise conclusion. With a more pronounced structure, the essay will be more persuasive and easier to follow. Afterwards, further refinement of mechanics and style can elevate the writing to a higher standard. Scheduling a conference with the instructor can provide personalized guidance and ensure the restructuring aligns with academic expectations.

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