English Feedback: More Than Likely All Of The Revisions List

English Feedbackmore Than Likely All Of The Revisions Listed Below St

Identify and revise major issues in a written response, including lacking introduction, thesis statement, and conclusion, as well as unprofessional tone, insufficient evidence, informal expressions, personal anecdotes, and improper citation of sources. Emphasize the importance of clarity in audience and purpose, proper organization, appropriate tone, sufficient supporting evidence, correct punctuation, and accurate use of proper nouns. Learning from prior mistakes, the revision process should focus on restructuring the response to include clear introductions and conclusions, establishing a thesis statement, maintaining formal academic tone, and providing detailed, supported responses relevant to the assigned prompt.

Paper For Above instruction

Effective academic writing requires adherence to fundamental structural and stylistic conventions to communicate ideas clearly and professionally. The initial response demonstrated several common issues, notably the absence of an introduction, thesis statement, and conclusion, which are critical for guiding the reader through the argument. An introduction should set the stage, outline the topic, and present a thesis that succinctly states the main argument or purpose of the essay. The exclusion of these elements results in a response lacking coherence and clarity, diminishing its persuasiveness and readability.

In the original draft, the body of the essay began abruptly with a critique of an article by Kerry Soper, without contextual background or a clear connection to a broader discussion. Instead, a well-structured response would start with an introductory paragraph that introduces the articles being discussed, states the purpose of the response, and presents a thesis that encapsulates the writer’s evaluation or perspective. For instance, a thesis could specify whether the response is aimed at critiquing the effectiveness of the articles, comparing their approaches, or illustrating specific themes.

Furthermore, the tone of the initial response was unprofessional, characterized by informal language, emotional expressions, and personal anecdotes that detracted from scholarly objectivity. In academic writing, it is essential to maintain a formal tone, avoid colloquialisms, and refrain from expressing personal opinions or humor unless directly relevant and appropriately cited. For example, comments like "I’m also quite sure that if the author ever lost the over-mentioned 15-pounds..." are unprofessional and do not contribute to a scholarly critique.

In addition, the response lacked sufficient evidence and analysis to support claims. Effective critique or discussion requires integrating quotations, paraphrased evidence, and detailed analysis to back up assertions. Merely stating opinions without supporting evidence diminishes the credibility of the response. For example, when mentioning articles such as “Twitter Goes to College,” the response should include specific examples or quotes from the article, explaining their significance within the context of the critique.

Another common issue involved the inclusion of personal anecdotes and informal expressions, such as "I used to watch cartoons growing up on Saturday mornings," which are inappropriate in formal academic responses. Academic writing demands objectivity and professionalism; personal stories should be omitted unless specifically requested or relevant to the analytical focus.

Proper organization is key to clarity. Revising the outline, clearly delineating paragraphs with distinct subtopics aligned with the thesis, ensures coherence. Connecting the introduction to the body with a bridging statement and ensuring each paragraph supports the main argument enhances readability. For example, a refined outline might explicitly state: paragraph 1 — overview and critique of article A; paragraph 2 — comparison with article B; paragraph 3 — discussion of implications or broader themes.

Attention to mechanics, including punctuation, capitalization, and proper nouns, improves professionalism. Recurring issues such as lowercase proper nouns, misplaced punctuation, or unnecessary exclamation points should be corrected according to standard grammatical rules. For instance, ensuring that proper nouns like “Twitter” and “Kerry Soper” are capitalized, and that punctuation is used consistently and correctly, is essential in formal writing.

Reflecting on these revisions, it is clear that improving the clarity, organization, tone, and evidence will significantly enhance the quality of the response. Developing a clear thesis statement, providing detailed, evidence-based analysis, and maintaining a formal tone will produce a more compelling and scholarly piece. These revisions serve as a foundation toward mastering effective academic writing and analysis, ultimately leading to a more polished and professional final product.

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