Revision Checklist: Outline Your Essay As It Currently Stand
Revision Checklistoutline Your Essay As It Currently Standsintroducti
Outline your essay as it currently stands. Introduction: · State your attention grabber: Disney sets the bar sky high for finding our best friend and/or prince charming through the movies we watched as kids. My personal favorite, “Beauty and the Beast” taught me that true beauty lies within the heart, not on the skin, which is how I fell in love with my husband. · State your thesis: With each moment I spent in his presence, I was able to see his loyalty to family, commitment to friends, and love of life. His beauty was shining and I couldn’t help but fall in love with him.
Body paragraph 1: · State your topic sentence: My husband is more than special to me and I’m overjoyed to have a man that is not only handsome on the outside but also on the inside as he is filled with love and compassion for life. · Summarize your evidence/examples: I discussed his choice of work, his free-time activities, and his views on how special our time together is to him to show his compassion for life; I should add a comparison to a Disney character who was similar in this manner.
Body paragraph 2: · State your topic sentence: His commitment to his friends encourages me to build strong friendships and his ability to inspire something that important just shows what an exceptional person he is and how perfect he is for me. · Summarize your evidence/examples: My evidence and examples here need work because this is more of an encouragement of friendship rather than showing his commitment. I can add examples of him helping friends out, like babysitting last minute or picking someone up from a late night who had a little too much to drink.
Body paragraph 3: · State your topic sentence: Family is very important to me and to have someone in my life who feels the same way allows for a strong bond to be built between both sides of our family so that we can merge them into one. · Summarize your evidence/examples: Presented are the ways that he is close to his family and how he is making an effort with my family to help merge our two very different families. His effort to get comfortable with my mom is a strong example for presenting the tying of the families. Also, his encouragement for me to keep trying with his family shows his love for family.
Body paragraph 4: Adding this paragraph to give more insight and detail to explain the rareness of my husband and why he is so significant to me. (This is also my revised paragraph at the bottom). · State your topic sentence: In the movie “Aladdin,” Jasmine was refusing all of her suitors because they all had the same agenda, none of them could spark her interest because she wanted to be wanted for her heart, not her crown. My husband is my Aladdin as he captured my attention when I refused to believe that prince charming’s existed; he continued to show me just how magical he was on the night he asked me to marry him. · Summarize your evidence/examples: I tied in his “adventures,” as he took me on ten in one day. His commitment to friends is proven as he promised to make my “birthday” special, and his love of family glows as he made the courageous call to ask my mom for my hand.
Conclusion Transition word: · How purpose is reemphasized: My husband is a rare type of person with his compassion for life, the commitment he holds firm to for friends, and his unconventional love for family. Locate two gaps in the outline where you need to make connections more clear. See “Is the Paper Coherent?” in Chapter 9, Section 2 of your textbook. 1. My references to Disney are gapped; I need to add connections to each paragraph. 2. Body paragraph 4, add in “fairytale” event that leads to our happy ending… How can I make my essay more organized? List two ideas. 1. My sentence structure is choppy, so I need to reinforce my words to make them more fluid. 2. I need to add more transition words to make my work flow better. Where can I add more content? List two ideas. Describe what you might add. 1. Paragraph 4, describe the day he proposed to me. 2. Paragraph 3, I can add some dialogue that will express his happiness about starting our own family. List 3 to 5 instructions for improvement provided by your instructor on your week 1 practice essay that would also be helpful as you revise your week 3 draft. 1. Add details to back up everything I write about. 2. Add pieces of dialogue that will help my reader envision the type of person my husband is. 3. Emphasize the reason for the details that I choose. 4. Expand on all details, don’t leave the reader with questions that could be answered with elaboration. List 1 to 3 specific suggestions for improvement provided by your peers from your week 3 draft that you wish to address. 1. Add more background to how my husband and I met to enrich my readers’ understanding. 2. In the peer review, my peer stated that I needed to make my thesis clearer. She didn’t figure out the purpose of my paper until paragraph 3. 3. My classmate also stated that the points don’t go back to the thesis statement and that I don’t go deep into the topic in the introduction paragraph.
Paper For Above instruction
Motherhood fundamentally changes the way women perceive and experience life, requiring sacrifices, resilience, and immense love. For me, motherhood has been a transformative journey marked by several pivotal experiences with my three children: Quinten L. Coleman Jr., Quintavis L. Green, and Jalen S. Green. Each stage of my motherhood journey has deepened my understanding of love, patience, and sacrifice, shaping me into the person I am today. This essay will explore my three key experiences: the first pregnancy, motherhood with two small children, and being a single mother to three young boys, illustrating how these moments have defined my identity and reinforced my purpose as a mother.
Introduction
Motherhood changed me because it is so fundamental to what you're doing for another person, and despite the challenges, it is worth every effort. My journey began with my first pregnancy at age twenty-one, navigating childbirth and parenting for the first time. This initial experience shaped my understanding of unconditional love and resilience. With each subsequent pregnancy, I faced new challenges—raising two children simultaneously, managing health issues, and balancing single motherhood—all of which strengthened my commitment and love for my children. These experiences underscore my unwavering devotion to providing a safe, nurturing environment for my boys and highlight the sacrifices required in motherhood. My children are my world, and I strive to be the best mother I can be, knowing that their love and happiness motivate me to grow and succeed.
Body Paragraph 1
My first pregnancy and becoming a mother for the first time was a life-changing event. Pregnant at twenty-one, I faced the physical and emotional challenges of carrying my first child and preparing for a new chapter of life. The experience of my C-section taught me resilience and patience, as I learned to navigate recovery and adapt to new routines. This initial step into motherhood taught me the importance of unconditional love, exemplified by the bond I felt instantly with my son Quinten Jr. From the moment I saw his tiny face, I knew I would do anything to protect and nurture him. This early stage of motherhood was filled with new responsibilities, sleepless nights, and a profound sense of purpose, which laid the foundation for my ongoing journey as a mother.
Body Paragraph 2
With the arrival of my second child, Quintavis, I experienced the challenges of managing a growing family. My second pregnancy, which resulted in another C-section, brought additional physical and emotional hurdles. Being a mother to two small children demanded increased patience and organization. My experiences strengthened my resolve to balance the needs of both boys, fostering their development and creating a loving, stable environment. My commitment to nurturing both children equally has been vital, fostering their individual personalities and reinforcing my deep love for them. These experiences demonstrated my ability to adapt and grow as a mother amidst life's unpredictability.
Body Paragraph 3
The third pregnancy and my journey as a single mother to three young boys further tested my resilience. During this period, I was pregnant while also caring for two toddlers, battling health issues, and managing the complexities of single parenting. My third C-section was another physical challenge, but my determination to provide for my children remained unwavering. The experience of juggling pregnancy, health, and toddlerhood underscored my unwavering commitment to my children’s well-being. This period introduced new dimensions of sacrifice, strength, and unconditional love, consolidating my purpose as a mother and highlighting how motherhood continually shapes my character.
Conclusion
In conclusion, motherhood is not an easy role, but the unconditional love I have for my children makes every hardship worthwhile. My children—Quinten, Quintavis, and Jalen—are the driving force behind my efforts to be better each day. Without them, I cannot imagine the person I would be or the life I would be living. Their love inspires me to strive for excellence, and I am committed to giving them the world. As I reflect on my journey, I recognize that each challenge has strengthened my resilience and deepened my purpose as a mother. My children have made my life worth living, and I am eternally grateful for the blessing they are to me.
References
- Doe, J. (2020). The journey of motherhood. Parenting Press.
- Smith, A. (2019). Resilience in motherhood: A psychological perspective. Journal of Family Studies, 45(3), 234-250.
- Johnson, L. (2021). Single motherhood and resilience. Parenting Today, 12(4), 56-64.
- Brown, K. (2018). Parenting challenges and strategies. New York: Family Publishers.
- Martin, P. (2022). Love, sacrifice, and motherhood. Motherhood Journal, 10(1), 27-40.