Self Identity: Sometimes I Stop For Moments To Think About M

Self Identitysometimes I Stop For Moments To Think About Myself About

Self-Identity Sometimes I stop for moments to think about myself, about my life, about what I was and what I became, and how that happened. I think about many events that happened and led to complete changes in my life. At age 18, I was like a little girl who needed someone to take care of her, who needed a hug from her mom when she got into trouble. I was the girl who could not do anything or make decisions without my family's guidance or permission. However, when I turned 19, I got married, and that was the biggest change in my life.

Initially, I was happy because I would be married, wear the white dress of my dreams, and have a soulmate who would bring happiness and make my world complete. Suddenly, I found myself in a different house with a person I didn't know much about—my new husband. My life challenges began after I transitioned from a girl who enjoyed her life without responsibilities to a wife with many duties. Responsibilities became the greatest challenge of my new life.

In our culture, as a wife, I had to take care of everything inside the house, including cleaning and cooking. Sometimes I cooked for my husband's family when they visited, often preparing meals for eight people, which was overwhelming since I was just learning to cook for two. Our customs dictate that the food prepared for guests must be delicious and abundant; serving less or ordering from a restaurant could be seen as disrespectful. I also had to maintain my appearance at its best in front of my husband and his family. I faced these challenges alone because I moved away from my family to live with my husband in a different city.

The second major challenge in my life was becoming a mother. I was only 20 when I had my first child. Can you imagine? A 20-year-old girl being a mom. Now, my daughter is six, and when we go out or meet new people, they often mistake her for my sister rather than my daughter. Being a wife and a mother is not easy, especially at such a young age.

Despite these difficulties, I do not regret these experiences because they transformed me into a person with goals. I learned to overcome challenges independently and to leverage these experiences for personal growth. When I married, I was still a second-year college student, and I had my first baby before graduating. After graduation, my husband suggested I pursue a master's degree abroad. Initially, I didn't understand his suggestion, but he explained that I could get a scholarship to study overseas and learn a new language. Though surprised, I realized he had been planning this for some time.

He applied for the scholarship on my behalf, and soon we received approval. It felt like a dream, and my husband was happier about it than I was. All procedures for the scholarship, visa, and travel were handled smoothly thanks to his efforts. Suddenly, I found myself in the United States, immersed in a new culture and environment. One of our biggest challenges was the language barrier, as neither my husband nor I spoke English fluently. Our first step was enrolling in an English Language Institute at the University of Oregon.

In the U.S., I faced many hardships that made me cry and wish to return home. One significant issue was finding daycare for my daughter, which was full everywhere. My husband or I had to stay home to care for her. We managed to find help from the daycare director, but transportation was another challenge. Without a car, we relied on buses to get to university and to drop off and pick up our daughter. These struggles, coupled with the absence of family or friends nearby, made life incredibly difficult.

This adversity taught me resilience and independence. It helped me develop the ability to make wise decisions and depend on myself. Before coming to the U.S., I relied heavily on my husband’s guidance for decisions. My social environment in our small community limited my experiences, and most women depended on their husbands, rarely making independent choices. I was dissatisfied with this and longed to establish my own identity. Coming to the U.S. was a unique achievement, as I was the first in my family or community to study abroad.

I remember an American woman asking about me, calling me “the Black Sheep,” because I was the only family member to pursue such a path—and she explained that the Black Sheep was someone who stands out and does something different from the rest. Reflecting on this, I realized how much I had accomplished and how many challenges I had overcome, making me a strong, confident woman. Despite fears and pains experienced abroad, I do not regret my decisions because they molded me into a mature, responsible person.

Today, I continue to face new challenges, some easier to manage than others. Currently, I am pregnant, on the brink of childbirth, balancing my pregnancy and ongoing studies. I believe that every problem has a solution, and every beginning has an end, which inspires me to face life’s hurdles with optimism and resilience.

Paper For Above instruction

Self-identity is a complex and evolving concept that reflects an individual’s understanding of themselves within their social, cultural, and personal context. My personal journey exemplifies how self-identity develops through life's challenges, experiences, and reflections. From my early years, I was dependent on my family, lacking autonomy or decision-making power. As I transitioned into adulthood through marriage and motherhood, my identity was shaped by cultural expectations and responsibilities, fundamentally transforming my perceptions of myself.

At the age of 18, I viewed myself as aDependent girl, relying on family for protection and guidance. My life was simple and carefree, but it lacked independence. The transition to marriage at 19 marked a pivotal shift, forcing me to adapt to new responsibilities—managing household chores, cooking for larger groups, and maintaining social decorum. In my culture, these roles are deeply ingrained and expected from women, and I struggled with the loss of personal freedom. Moving to a different city with my husband distant from my family system intensified this period of adjustment. I had to learn new skills, including cooking, cleaning, and social etiquette, all while trying to maintain my self-esteem and appearance for my husband's family.

The subsequent challenge of motherhood at the age of 20 was another defining moment. Motherhood at a young age brought joy but also added layers of responsibility and societal judgment. My daughter’s resemblance to me and the perceptions of others often led to misconceptions about our age and relationship. These experiences taught me resilience and responsibility, shaping my identity as a capable woman who could manage her life under difficult circumstances.

Further expanding my horizons, I embraced the opportunity to study abroad, motivated by my husband's encouragement and belief in my potential. Applying for and receiving a scholarship to pursue a master’s degree in the United States marked a significant milestone. Moving to the U.S. entailed navigating language barriers, cultural differences, and logistical challenges, such as securing daycare and transportation. These hardships initially made me feel isolated and vulnerable, but they ultimately fostered a sense of independence and self-reliance.

Through adaptation, I cultivated a new sense of self—one that values education, autonomy, and resilience. This process of self-discovery was reinforced by interactions with others, such as an American woman who labeled me “the Black Sheep,” an affirmation of my unique achievements and willingness to stand out from my community. Such experiences deepened my understanding of my individuality and strengthened my self-identity. I began to see myself not just as a dependent girl or wife, but as an independent woman capable of overcoming obstacles and shaping her destiny.

Despite hardships, I recognize that these experiences have been vital in forging my personal identity. I have become more aware of my strengths, limitations, and potential. Today, I stand at a new juncture—pregnant and balancing studies—symbolizing the ongoing evolution of my identity. I view challenges not as impediments but as opportunities for growth, believing that every problem has a solution. My journey illustrates how perseverance, cultural reflection, and personal agency contribute to the development of a resilient and independent self-identity.

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